Chaun Archer

So we are a few days away from the play, and I’ve gotta tell you, I am shocked and awed at how good this play is going to be. I’ll be honest with you, because I was already honest with the Director, when I first started this production, I thought either she’s mad, or she’s a genius. Guess what? Toni Henson of Micah 6:8 Media, is a GENIUS! I watched my character develop right before my eyes, I mean, I had to work hard and pour into it, but it was so worth it. She pulled it out of me. I thought this play was going to be another cheesy “black” play. But it’s not! It is real theatre! I wouldn’t be surprised if we go on tour! That’s how good it is! I’ve never seen any production like this either. Women from everywhere,  every size, every race will relate to this.

Trying to balance all of my roles, is exhausting, but my family has been so supportive. I absolutely love my husband and my children, and doing this play, and working as hard as I’m working has brought us closer together, and made my marriage brilliant. I believe it is because I’m happy, now that I’ve stopped making excuses and complaining about what I wish I was doing, or wanted to be doing, and actually did it! And when the woman is happy, it brings peace in the home. That’s just my belief! My daughters love me being happy also, and they are proud of me, and it lets them know that they can also do or achieve anything they set their minds on. I’m blessed to have the family that I have. Live your life, pursue your dreams, and just be happy. Everything else will fall in place.

Oh, and if you are in the Atlanta area June 2-5, come out and see BIG GIRLS GOTTA EAT, TOO! at Fabrefaction Theatre. Visit Micah68media.com to buy tickets and for more details.

Update: For those asking about the other play I was doing, that’s in another blog, because after being casted and signing the contract, we didn’t hear anything from them again, even after countless emails and facebook messages, no response. Very unprofessional, and in bad taste. I don’t have time to write the details in this blog, but once this production is over I’ll blog about that and the book release. Thanks for reading and asking questions!

So, just another update for those who don’t know, I was actually casted in another play, and yes, I’ll be doing both! Love Unbreakable, opening in March has an amazing cast, and I’m so excited to work with our wonderful Directors Lavarious Slaughter, and Marlanna Brooks. I’m still doing Big Girls Gotta Eat Too which is evolving to be something amazing. Definitely nothing like anything you’ve ever seen before! Riveting!

At first I thought I was crazy to do two plays concurrently, because of rehearsals and scheduling, plus running a business, and going to school. However,  scheduling has become my best friend, along with my assistant, of course. I feel a burst of rejuvenation and I can only thank God for all of the wonderful blessings he’s allowed me to have. I wanted to go into my 30′s running as I closed the door to an era of my life that seemed to never want to end.

I dreaded 29 for many reasons. Mostly because it’s the age my mom was when she died. It’s so significant to me, because this year, I connected with her in many ways I simply couldn’t before. When she died, 29 seemed so old to me. Now that I’m here, and I have two beautiful daughters of my own, I can only imagine what she felt, or what she went through, as cancer drained the life from her body, knowing that she was leaving her only child all alone. Age is not just a number. It’s a milestone, a turning point, an event! I’ll be 30 on May 4th 2011. It’s an age that my mother never got to see, so I plan to do it well, and in style.  So, for those who have given me wonderful, and meaningful advice to slow down, stop, take a minute, know that I live on purpose. I do not fail to cherish and make time for what is really important like my family, and spending time with my daughters, and teaching them values and ethics. I still read bedtime stories, cuddle up on the sofa, make hot chocolate, take them out to play, watch them ride bikes, and I adore them. I still go on dates with my husband, and we still have fun. It may be hard to believe, but “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. Every decision is  carefully  thought out and prayed over. The consequences are weighed, and the final decision is always approved by God and my husband. I am fulfilling my destiny, there are people who will never get the chance, and more still who will never take it. Watch out 30, here I come!

For you, Mummy, Shelly P. Anderson

R.I.P.

P.S. I’ll be releasing my next book for my 30th birthday, I’ll keep you posted on the book signing.

So, a few months ago, I decided to practice what I preach. I often say, “If you don’t like something change it, if you can’t change it, change your attitude” a quote by one of my favorite inspirations, Dr. Maya Angelou. From this stemmed my very irritating question, that I ask my close friends when they complain about something, “What are you doing about it?” Whether it’s weight loss, hairstyles, or hunger, if you complain about it, I’ll ask, “What are you doing about it?”

So, one day I was complaining about how I missed acting, and plays, and directing, and my husband asked me, “What are you doing about it?” It stunned me a little, and kindda hurt like a slap in the face, but after I quickly got over it, I said, “Nothing but making excuses!”

I jumped into action mode (comes right after deep thought and reflection mode) and found a few auditions, and auditioned for two plays. I took friends along who were also missing being on stage, and we had a blast. The first one I auditioned for was a play called “Big Girls Gotta Eat Too” Directed by Toni Henson. I thought it was a great concept,  and I took my “little sister” LeShae along.  The next play was called “Love Unbreakable” directed by Lavarious Slaughter.  I took along, my “big sister” Candaclyn, and “little sister” and we had a blast! We were nervous, and felt unprepared, and considering the large turnout, we wanted to turn around and leave, but we did it! At the end of the day we said, even if only one of us gets a part that would be phenomenal! We did it for the experience, and enjoyed it very much!

Well, all three of us got parts! I got chosen for both plays and then had to make a tough decision, because they both started rehearsals the same day. I prayed long and hard, and my decision was kindda made for me. I didn’t hear back in time from the Love Unbreakable team to confirm the location and time, so I went to the “Big Girls Gotta Eat Too” meet and greet and immediately knew that it was destined. I love the cast, we are a great fit, and the director is awesome!

Candy got a call back from Love Unbreakable and is waiting to hear more, apparently the first meeting was postponed. LeShae got a part in Big Girls Gotta Eat Too, so we’re both doing that play together. I said that to say, things don’t just fall in your lap. You have to do something to make things happen. Faith and positive thinking are great, but unless you take a step there will be no action. “Luck” is simply when preparation meets opportunity. Are you prepared?

Ok. So it’s official. I’ve signed up for NaNoWriMo. What is NaNoWriMo you may ask (if you didn’t already know)? It’s National Novel Writing Month. It is an initiative for writer’s to start and complete a 50,000 word novel in one month. It begins November 1, and ends November 30. I’ve signed up before, but never completed a novel. I’m really going to try to finish one this time. Plus my sister is doing it also, so we can be support for each other. We’ll see what happens.

So I met an amazing person, who has added such positivity and light to my life. She posted a daily affirmation on her facebook page, and I’d like to share it with you…

by Margo Miller

I will:
• breathe and pulse in my natural way to build up my energy level
• connect with my Higher Self
• remove blockages to my fulfilment
• let go of the past and live in the here and now
• stop being a victim
• get clear on my vision and goals in life
• understand the higher meaning of painful life experiences and use them to build my inner strength
• stop hurting myself
• broaden my consciousness and increase my practical intelligence
• set clear boundaries for my protection
• let go of painful childhood experiences
• know my limitations and how to expand them
• improve my physical health and energy level
• release tensions and relax deeply
• see through my own games and the games others play
• use the power of my mind to create the reality that I want
• use the power of my inner guide for direction
• make powerful choices that magically draw into my life the resources I need
• change the monsters of my life (fears, terror, anger, inner criticism) into allies

Where have I been and what exactly have I been up to? Well, I didn’t exactly fall off of the face of the earth, although that’s how it may have seemed. I’ve been super busy to say the least. In the last year, I’ve worked with wonderful authors, speakers, and artists. I met some amazing people (P7). I wrote a book (it’s been a secret project) that will be released the beginning of next year, and you’ll hear more about it soon. I invested in my business. I got a ‘real’ job. I left the ‘real’ job. I’ve helped my husband with his art and projects. I split my company in two. I got lots of business. I stuck my tongue out at the ‘real’ job. I worked on my relationship with my father. Went back to college. I broke my ankle (on campus after registering for classes). Wore a cast and walked with crutches for forever. Fell down more steps on my crutches. Wore a walking air boot after the cast.  Watched my daughter turn 2. Watched my other daughter bust the doors open on 4. Watched her start pre-k and cried (I did all the crying, she asked me nicely to leave). Auditioned for a few plays (haven’t heard from any of them). Started writing my own play. And missed my blog dearly. So here I am, once again. Healed, loving, laughing, and living life to the fullest, with great energy and wonderful light. Here’s Waldo!

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Remember that silly rhyme we said as kids? First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in the baby carriage. They didn’t say what comes after that. I sometimes wish they did. It’s so easy to forget about each other when seemingly more important things like kids and bills are added to the love equation. I’d like to say Love+Marriage=B3 (Babies, Bills, and Blues). At least that’s what it could become if you let it.

I know before I was married I looked at married people and thought, “How wonderful” sigh. After I got married I looked at single people and thought, “How wonderful” sigh. We have to learn to be happy in whatever state we’re in. I love to say that happiness is a choice. So, I resolved that I will make my marriage into what I thought I was seeing when I was single. It begins with me. You should always be the change that you want to see in others. So instead of crying that your husband is not romantic, or that there’s no romance in your marriage.You be romantic. I will not sit around and wait for him to one day wake up and surprise me with flowers, and chocolates. I will surprise him with a Best Buy gift card, sexy lingerie, and a note that says, “Bet ya can’t beat this.” And even if nothing comes of that, I’m still happy because I chose happiness first and at least I did it!

I used to feel extremely guilty whenever I had to leave my children to go to work. To be honest it was really a love/hate thing. I hated having to close the door on the pleading screams and high octave shrills for “MOMMY!” That is, until I got in the car, and headed down the road. After a minute or two I would drink in the silence or melt into my favorite song or CD. The peace and quiet would give me a moment to have at least one clear thought. Until I started to feel guilty about feeling good, or happy. How dare I feel so good while my children are on the verge of a panic attack at home. Then I’d remember they were left in somewhat capable hands…my husband’s hands, and I was right back to Zen. These feelings continued to fluctuate for the entire drive to work, mixed in with thoughts about traffic, and the office.

As mom’s we all go through it. The struggle between our careers and our children. I didn’t have to go through this for long. We found something that works for our children and eliminated the “Mommy go bye bye” tantrums. It’s quite simple. We talked to them about it.

We talk to our kids about everything, and I’ve learned that if you mentally prepare them for what is about to happen, they won’t be so shocked, or feel tricked or bamboozled. The worst thing you could do is disappear in your pajamas, and reappear, clean, sweet, made up and ready to go with shoes on and everything. This makes them go into panic mode, because they know they don’t have enough time to go get their shoes or fip fops, and they know that if they go to get them you’ll sneak out the door and it’ll be too late.

What I began to do was, after I got out the shower and was somewhat dressed, I would open the bathroom door and allow them the opportunity to come in and watch me get ready. They watched me put on makeup, fix my hair, and pick out my clothes. They got to ask their questions and I answered them openly and honestly. “Yes, I’m going to work.” Let them be a part of your preparation. Let them help you pick out your clothes or which lipstick or earrings you should wear. Go over colors and alphabets and numbers. These are all distractions. If you release the tension you’re feeling, they will too. Relax, be calm, don’t raise your voice, and let them know that you’re in control of yourself and the situation.

Right before you leave, you want to acknowledge your child or children with big hugs and kisses, and a promise if you can afford one. This is not to be confused with a bribe to calm them down. This is because they have remained calm, and you are rewarding good behavior, and it shouldn’t be material, like toys or expensive things. For instance, if I get home before you’re in bed, I’ll read you a story at bedtime. For dinner tonight, I’ll make your favorite. When you wake up, I’ll be here making you breakfast in the morning. Remember you’re not bribing them because this is a reward for them remaining calm, not if they are out of control.

Here’s what some of our getting dressed conversations sound like.
“When I leave you’re not going to cry are you?” “Because you’re a big girl and you know I’ll be home before you know it!” “Can you help me pick out my clothes?” “What color earrings go with this blouse?” “What letter does Lipstick start with?” “Can you count to 10?” “Can you say your ABC’s?” “What’s your favorite color? Why?”.

Before you know it, they would have gotten rid of the habit of throwing temper tantrums and screaming when you leave. Your thoughts of guilt will be replaced with warm loving thoughts of your children and the excitement of seeing them when you get home!

Ok so I saw a need, and I hope I don’t get any flack for it. I noticed that there were not very many support groups for people of color with cancer, and so I started one. The group I started is called Children of Color With Cancer (looking for a shorter form, maybe CCWC or something, if you have any ideas please comment).

The group is intended to provide a much needed forum for people of color with cancer. It does not exclude any race. Let me make that clear. However, this group discusses the issue of cancer specific to children of ethnic or mixed backgrounds.

I don’t feel like I need to explain, but I will for anyone who wants to challenge me on this. After writing Wonderful Wigs, I wanted to make it available to all children, but especially for the children that will identify strongly with the main character, Aisha. I began to search for groups like this, but as I searched through the cancer support groups, I couldn’t find Aisha. I began to think, do children of color get cancer? When you visit the hospitals they are definately there, but online, I just didn’t see the support for them. So I felt like it was needed. Yes, cancer affects all people of all races, however, it does affect us differently in some ways. That is a FACT.

So I wanted to create a group where they could discuss these differences openly, without feeling awkward, or not having someone who can relate, or identify with how their skin turned blue or black as tar from the chemo. Or should I stay natural after my hair grows back or get a perm? Or whatever other specific problems they may face.

Like I said people of all races are welcomed if you feel like you can offer support or get support.

(Update – I had to move this network from Ning. It’s now on facebook)

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